


HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS (by Karkat Vantas)

by HeichouTheTitan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Christmas Music, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Karkat Swearing, M/M, Screenplay/Script Format, Sorry Not Sorry, Voice Acting, happy holidays!, jingle bells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 15:20:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8672473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeichouTheTitan/pseuds/HeichouTheTitan
Summary: Hey, guys! I know that you’re all BURSTING with Christmas MOTHERFUCKING EXCITEMENT, but I would like you to pause for a moment there in your scrolling and maybe read this script I made for a christmas Homestuck video? Any homestucks out there who feels that they are a good voice actor (and you who think that you’re bad ones, which I doubt greatly) may use this for a video! The only requirement is that you give me credit for writing it, is all. 
And who doesn’t like Karkat singing christmas carols in his own colorful way?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there, chum pal buddy friends! HeRe We MoThErFuCkInG, uUH,,, gO!

*The Jingle Bells music starts*

  


Karkat: Jingle bells, go to hell

I hate you all

  


I’m just tryna win this game

but you’re all idio~ots

  


Jingle bells, go to hell

I don’t even care

  


Gamzee eat your fucking pie 

the blind girl is the seer

  


Jingle all the way

Lick my fucking nook

  


Why the fuck am I singing

this lameass human song?

  


Eridan shut up

Equius is fucking weird

  


Nepeta she wants me red

  


Ew ew ew ew EEW

  


OH  


Jingle bells, go to hell

suck on my bulge

  


I hate you all

  


So fucking much

  


It’s all because of yOU

  


Jingle bells, go to hell

Stop shipping me with WEIRDOS

  


*rambling* Aradia is a nice troll and all but what the actual FUCK do you think you’re fucking doing, asswiping–

  


*sound of thudand chair clattering to the ground* 

  


STRIDER!

  


(*in the background, music still going* [No need to do this part if you don't want to!]

  


Karkat: I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU STUPID FUCKING ALIEN BASTARD!

  


Dave: Haha, as if you could even touch this much swag, shortie-

  


*Dave yelps, Gamzee chuckles*

  


Dave: What the- Karkat, tell your stupid fucking clown pet to put me down!

  


Karkat: HE’S NOT A FUCKING PET, YOU INSOLENT, NOOK-WHIFFING FUCKING ASS! WAIT, UH, GAMZEE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-

  


*kissing sound*

  


*a beat of silence*

  


Gamzee, growling: You’re so MOTHERFUCKING DISGUSTING, Strider… 

  


Karkat: OH. MY. GOD.

  


Dave: What the hell.

  


Karkat, fanboying: BLACK ROMANCE. IT’S JUST LIKE THE MOVIES!

  


Dave: Wait, what?)

  


*the audio fades out with the three of them arguing in the background*

**Author's Note:**

> *nervously tugs at ugly christmas sweater* So, um… Yeah. Do what you want with it… And also, please link me to the video so I can see your wonderful interpretion of this script! :o)


End file.
